Oh, How I Wish
by turnyourCAMonfan
Summary: When Jessie found her way into the Ross house, she somehow found a way into Emma's heart. But Jessie has Tony, and Emma's heartbroken. But as she tires various time to tell Jessie, she just can't. But will there be one chance to actually tell her?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**Emma**

I'm in my room, crying. Again. I don't believe how much she could break my heart.

My mind replays what happened about an hour ago. Jessie kissing Tony. I hoped it wouldn't happen. I mean, I've been trying to help as a mask to hide my true feelings, but I never thought it would happen so suddenly. I waited until she went to bed to mourn in sorrow. I hope Zuri can't hear my crying, I don't want her to know. No one knows how I feel.

I look at my clock. 10:50 pm it reads. I don't have school tomorrow, so I can not sleep and get away with it. I turn and find myself facing my ceiling. _What if she doesn't understand? I'll sound like a complete idiot. I hope she will. But I can never tell her. But I have to. But I can't. I just need to get her alone..._

All of a sudden my door opens. I gasp for a brief second, and realize it's Jessie. "Hey Emma," she says, "have you seen my phone? I have to call Tony."

_Oh yeah, Tony._ "Um... I don't know. Did you lose it in the teacup?"

"No. I had it in here and put it somewhere. I'll ask Zuri. Thanks for you help."

"You're welcome." I say and she leaves.

I flop my head onto my pillow, and stare at the wall. She'll never know. She'll never know how my heart skips a beat around her, and the fact that I've been trying to be nice to hide my feelings. I read my clock again, now it's 10:55. I roll back over to the wall again. This is going to be a long night.

I manage to get out of bed at eight, and go into the kitchen. No one's up. This gives me time to think without someone distracting me. I walk up the stairs to my room, but stop halfway when I hear, "Emma? What are you doing up at eight in the morning?"

It was Ravi. Thank God it wasn't anyone else. "What are you doing up at eight in the morning?"

"Fair enough. I always get up this early. You're usually dead asleep when I wake."

"Whatever. I just felt like waking up early this morning." I lie.

"Okay. But you know that Jessie doesn't get up on the weekends until ten according to a average time study I've conducted." he says, and he and walk downstairs.

We sit on the couch and he turns to me. "What is the matter my sister?"

"Nothing is wrong Ravi! How did you come to that?" I say in fear.

"You have dark circles under your eyes, and I heard you sobbing last night. What's going on?" he says, giving me a deep look.

"Okay. But you can't tell anyone! Especially Jessie." I sigh and decide to tell him half of it, "I was a little upset about what happened last night." here comes the lies, "I was mad that I messed up their date even tough it turned out okay. I felt bad that I really screwed it up."

"Ah. I understand." he says and pats my hand.

_I really don't think you do._ I think to myself, and get up off the couch. "I have to go live my life now." I say and quickly walk up the stairs, run to my room, close the door and lock it.

I lean my back against the door. I let a tear slide down my face. I couldn't keep up these lies. I let another tear slip away, and then another, and another until they flow out of my eyes. I needed to tell her. But I couldn't manage to get those words out of my mouth. I slide down to the floor and sob quietly so no one can hear me. I wish I was with Jessie.


	2. Chapter 2

Around one I'm in the lobby as we check in from lunch at this Itlatian diner, and I can't look Tony or Jessie in the eyes. I munch on a chocolate muffin we bought at the diner. People wizz by us as Jessie and Tony discuss matters between themselves. I feel someone tug on my peach and black poka dot shirt. "Emma, how's your muffin? I would of got one, but I thought they would be too much."

"It's fine. You would like it." I say and we go to the elevator, Jessie finishing her conversation.

I continue gnawing at my muffin, not realizing I'm eating it too fast. "Emma, slow down before you chew your way to China."

I stop and hold the muffin and look at Jessie and then at the elevator. And back again. I squeeze my stomach as I feel sick. The door opens and we enter our penthouse. I notice roses on the living room table, them not being there before. Jessie wonders into the kitchen and I look at the tag on the roses. it reads,"_See you tonight. I had fun last night. And my uncle didn't kill me about the suit. :)"_

I let it go and slouch on the couch. Jessie comes in and notices the sad look on my face that I wasn't noticing I was making until she said so. "You okay Emma?"

"No, I'm perfectly fine." I lie as she notices the roses.

"Who are these from?" she asks.

"You guess."

"Stingy."

"Whatever."

She carefully reads the tag and smiles. "Aw, how sweet is he?"

"I don't know, you've only had one date, you know, not counting the other four that went down in flames." I say and pull out my phone.

"Are you really okay? You're acting kinda stingy." she says, catching on.

"I'm fine." I just stare at my phone, faking reading text messages.

"Okay then." she says and stops before walking up the stairs, "Now if you excuse me, I have to prepare for my date."

I watch her as she walks up the stairs. Then I make sure no one is coming, and let a few tears slip again. I can just think of her putting on the best dress and me sitting on her bed telling her she looks fine, even if it's last season.

And I keep daydreaming about how she'd throw it back in the closet and change into another dress. And how we'd be in there for hours on end trying to get it right. And then my daydream takes me to her date. How they laugh and flirt playfully. And how they eat their dinner and smiling like fools because they're happy. And then they kiss, and i just stop dead in my tracks and die completely. I just runaway crying and no one notices. I just cry like a moron and I can't tell anyone why. I can't preach out about how I just can't say those three words to her. Or how I keep everything inside and play dumb around her all the time. And how every night I'm crying in mourning.

But then I drift back to reality, and i notice I've been crying because there's tear stains on the couch. I get up and slowly walk to Jessie's room and knock on her door. The door opens and she smiles. "Here to help?"

"Of course! You need help from someone who's fashion forward. No offense." I say in my usual preppy voice and enter her room and she steps out of the way.

"None taken." she says and stands in the middle of the room as I flop on her bed, "So, what do you think?"

Lord, please help me.


	3. Chapter 3

After hours of prep, Jessie is finally ready. She has on a actually in season outfit and looks pretty. At five, Tony arrives and Jessie smiles. "Hey Tony."

"Hey Jessie. So, you ready?"

"Yeah. Thanks to Emma." she says and I just shrug.

"I try to make everyone fashionable. I hope to own the best fashion company in the world."

"Yeah, but you're still going to collage." she jokes and I laugh shyly, "So, be good while I'm gone. And keep an eye on everyone."

"Don't worry. Just go have fun!" I say and push them in the elevator and it closes.

After it does I head into the kitchen and grab a pudding. Something to keep my mind off things. I decide to forget about where Jessie is right now. Actually, who.

.

I check my clock to see how long Jessie's been gone. Seven fifty. She's been gone almost three hours and I haven't cried once. Maybe not watching her on her date doesn't make me cry. But to my bad luck, Jessie and Tony come in through the elevator. I roll my eyes and slouch on the couch. I hear Tony say goodbye and the elevator close. Jessie laughs and flops down next to me. "That was fun. I guess all my years of high school jerks was a good sign after all. I mean, he's sweet, and such a gentleman, unlike that jerk..."

"That's _it_! I will _not_ sit here and listen to this! Jessie, all those jerks were not seeing the inner and outer beauty you have! You deserve to be happy! Anyone would be lucky to go out with you!" I say, not standing this anymore.

"Emma, are you okay? I don't understand..."

"Ugh! You don't get it do you?"

"Okay, get what? I'm confused here."

"I helped you various times and you never notice me slip up! You're so oblivious!"

"Emma, what are you talking about?"

"I like you okay!" I have to pause for a second, "Yes, I know what I just said. Now you know. But it doesn't matter, you already have Tony. I'll just have to get over it."

Jessie stands there and tries to sink this in. "You... like me? Like more than a sisterly kinda thing?"

I just blew up. I couldn't help it. "See! You just don't realize it!"

"No, no! I do, but I didn't think..."

"Whatever. I'm going to bed!" I say marching up the stairs as quick as I can and she started to follow me.

"Emma wait!"

But it's too late. I'm in my room, slam my door and lock it. I can't believe what I just did. I just ruined it. I flop on my bed and sob as many tears as I can, because I just ruined everything.


End file.
